September 11, 2009
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Respect your elders!
How many times did I hear that growing up? My parents taught me that anyone older than me deserved respect. I know I didn’t completely buy into that until I was well into adulthood. I went through many years of the thought that nobody just deserves respect….they must earn it.
But the fact remains that the older you are, the more experiences you have, and hopefully, the more you have learned about life in general. The younger people may not choose to learn from our mistakes, as my parents so often tried in vain to teach me, but if they did there might just be a lot less chaos in the world today.
Our parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles have raised us, supported us and maybe in some ways made the world a better place to live. They can tell us stories about times past and humanize history in ways the textbooks can never do. They love us unconditionally, correct us when needed and in general make our world a better place to live.
Ok, not everyone has great experiences with their elders. I come from a family (on my dad’s side) of raging alcoholics. Some of the stories I could tell….
But the point of this whole thing is my outrage at the way we treat the elderly. Meet my Aunt Margie.
She is 88 years old and lives in a nursing home. She was a military wife and a stay at home mom. About 9 years ago she had a stroke, and then about a year later a fall resulted in major damage to one of her legs. She could no longer walk and her only child couldn’t care for her at home, so the nursing home was the only option.The food is awful, the staff often disrespectful and neglectful and her dignity went out the window a long time ago. She can’t choose her own doctor and the one the nursing home provides probably couldn’t make it on his own in general practice.
Why? Because she isn’t worth any money to our government. They haven’t found a way to make a profit off of her, so why spend money and resources to make her comfortable in her declining years.
And what’s even worse? One day we may all be where she is now. Unless we get lucky and die early, we are all going to get old. Some of us will be fortunate enough to have families that can afford to care for us at home.The rest of us might very well end up in a nursing home. Hopefully that will include those making the decisions to cut to the bone any programs that could make their lives comfortable,
Some of those folks are “lucky”…they have alzheimers or dementia and aren’t really aware of their surroundings. Aunt Margie is fully aware of her situation. I’ve tried to get her to come live with me, but she refuses. She doesn’t want to be a burden. So I visit every day and take her food and snacks often. I try to stay on top of the CNAs that aren’t doing their jobs and I go to meetings with Social Services every now and then in the hopes that somebody, somewhere will start caring and treating their charges with the love and respect they deserve.
Is there any way to fix this? I sure hope so. I don’t want to think that her life is my future.
Comments (12)
I’ve always thought that Aunt Margie had the prettiest head of snow-white hair.
@MelFamy - I want mine to be that color eventually.
When I was teaching, the students had little respect for elders and I think most of that came from the parents because they didn’t seem to respect anyone but themselves.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I have a couple of friends and one cousin who are teachers. They have talked about the decline of parental leadership over the years and the affect it has had on their ability to teach these kids. It really does all start at home, doesn’t it?
Oh yes it most certainly does. I was so dumbfounded when I heard that parents sided with their children over teachers. It was amazing. I fear what the future generations will be like. I remember one parent who should not have had children. She was just horrible. Didn’t like how I decorated the classroom. I think she had a deep seeded hatred for men. She had her daughter enrolled in sports(volleyball, basketball, and cheerleading), piano lessons, band lessons, horseback riding lessons, community theater, a church Girl Scouts type function, and two church choirs. And she had the audacity to attack me for giving her daughter homework.
@godfatherofgreenbay - Wow….wonder what kind of an adult that kid will grow up to be. Parental counselling should be mandatory for new parents!
There are many ways to fix this and they all start with you doing what you’re doing right now.
Hang in there it always gets better.
@Justin_DeBin - Thanks for the encouragement! It’s just so sad to see these folks being miserable in the nursing homes.
I have always thought it was weird that you need a license to own a dog, go fishing, go driving, teach children but you don’t need a license or anything to create children.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I guess someone figured it would be too hard to regulate. Pity.
Kudos to you for being such a great support to your aunt. BTW, I’m very happy to see a photo of you. I know that you loved your dog, but I like to see the face of the person I am communicating with. You have a very welcoming smile. I can see that is one reason why your aunt likes to see you coming.
@AprilsPlace - You are very sweet…thanks.