October 16, 2006
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Cancer
My uncle has cancer. My dad’s mom died from it, so did my mom’s mom. But they were both in their 80′s by the time they were diagnosed and it seemed at the time like that was something that was expected. I was fairly young and don’t remember if they suffered much.
Uncle Orville is my mom’s only sibling’s husband. He’s probably in his late 60′s or early 70′s and has always been a very hard worker. I wouldn’t say they are wealthy but from what my mom always told me, they are comfortable. He has taken good care of his wife and 5 children and taught them many valuable skills. A couple of his kids work at a local army base, one daughter is in high finance, another has her doctorate in teaching and a son owns a business and holds the position of commissioner in his community. And they all know how to work with their hands. One of my cousins roofed her own house a few years ago!
Anyway, when he was diagnosed with liver cancer a few months ago, his doctor told him that there wasn’t much use for him to have chemo or radiation. It might only add a few months to his life. Instead, he opted to try an alternative treatment, but that doesn’t seem to be doing him much good, either. At least it isn’t causing him the kind of pain or discomfort the other drugs probably would. They are now giving him only 3 more months to live.
The good thing is that it gives him time to put his life in order, if need be. And visit with his famliy in more meaningful ways. He can spend time telling them how much he loves them and they can tell him how important he was in their lives. Cancer isn’t always a bad thing, is it? We all have to die some day and his illness has made me reconsider how I feel about it.
My mom’s wish was to die quickly and without knowing it was coming. She got her wish. But we were all denied the opportunity to tell her how much we appreciated having her as our mother, grandmother, sister or aunt.
I know it’s not up to us to choose how we will leave this earth, but after seeing so many people die in so many different ways in my life, I don’t think cancer is such a bad thing anymore.
May God bless Uncle Orville and his family during this tough time in their lives.
Comments (5)
I always did like Orville. The relatively simple, unencumbered lifestyle he has led probably kept things in place and in perspective. While you and your aunt Faye have my sympathies, I suppose it should also be celebrated that he has had the time he has been given.
It will still be a great loss, tough.
I am sorry to hear about your uncle- I will be praying for him. I would say though that we are instructed in the Bible to live each day to the fullest- or as if it were our last but always be prepared to face tomorrow should the Lord allow it to come. So we should be available and able to tell people how much they are loved without a tragedy or trauma being inflicted upon us. That is one thing I can say about my crazy family is no matter how bizarre our lives were we have always told each other “I love you” when we hang up from a conversation. I did not always know where my dad was or what he was doing but I always knew he loved me to the very best of his ability- no matter what and my mom too. I think you are right though in saying he will have time to get his life in order and all. It is different when you can plan for a loss- but I am certain it is never easy either way. I still think cancer is bad all the time but God promises that all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes. So God can work it out-no matter how bad it is!
I love you – I think you are awesome and I think you and Holley need to go see “A Night with the King” this weekend!!
Holley isn’t coming this weekend, and A night with the King isn’t playing here! I’m really bummed about it not playing here, but it’s early yet. Maybe it will come here before it goes to the video stores.
I guess the main reason I feel the way I do about my Uncle’s upcoming death is that I lost both of my parents quickly. My dad was sick for a long time and I guess we should have known it was coming, but I was only 18 at the time and so involved in my own life that I didn’t pay attention like I should have. And then you know about mom dying in the fire. And we had fought the day before and I had said some hurtful things to her that I never had the chance to take back or soothe over. On the other hand, I did tell them both that I loved them and I know mom knew I did even when we did fight, so in the end, all that matters is that I know for sure I’ll see her again someday. I just wish I had another few minutes with her.
Thank you for your comments. You are pretty darned awesome, yourself! Your kids probably appreciate you now, but once they become parents, they will REALLY know how much you have done for them. And as a friend, you are totally there. What a gem of a person you are!
I think it’s good sometimes when we have a chance to prepare for someone’s death. Granny D’s death wasn’t very difficult for me to deal with because we’d all seen it coming for a few months. Same with Aunt Ditty. I was really sad about both of them, and I miss them both very much, but the acceptance was already beginning to solidify even before they’d passed away. I think part of why I had such a hard time with Granny J (besides my relationship with her) is that it was so very sudden – we all expected her to live a good while longer. But it just happened, no warning, no time to adjust. I never realized how important that was until then.
Hi Holley’s mom! I’m sorry about your uncle! Holley gave you a nice shout out on her site.